Thirty years too early!

I met the Oncologist on Tuesday, Dr Falks. Renowned in his field as one of the best. He told me I was 30 years too early to be sat in his office with Bowel Cancer and did I have this in the family? "No" I said,"No one I am aware of has had this on either side of my bloodline...It's just randomly chosen me".

I will start my chemo in about a months time, once I've had time to heal. Im going to do a clinical trial which will give me closer monitoring...I want that. I want to be watched like a hawk. It will put my mind at rest that they check me for the next 7 years to see if this evil has invaded once again.
My chemo will be every 2 weeks for 48hrs, administered through a Pic line (IV) and pumped slowly over this period of time. I will go to the Oncology every week for either 3 months or 6 months depending on which category the computer decides to put me into.

The side affects may be mild or may be severe. We will not know until I start and that scares me more than I can explain. I am such a scardey cat...

Time to clear the muddy footprints left behind...

My operation to remove the cancerous tumour and bowel it lived in was a success and on day 5 I returned home. I knew I would receive the results of the pathologists report on Friday 15th July, another Friday with news to be had!

Mia rang as promised with the  results; From  the 19 lymph nodes removed along with tumour and part bowel, two of them were infected by cancer cells, as were the blood vessells. Both the nodes and blood vessells infected were close to the tumour the further 17 were clear.
 So now I will embark on the next part of my journey. Meeting my oncologist in the next two weeks to discuss the treatment plan.

This will be 6 months of chemo on a Scotts trial with a line in for IV administration of the drug. Im talking a foreign language here so excuse me if its muddled! :/ Within the next 8 weeks once I've healed and got my strength back, I will start the chemo. The tumour was given a stage 3 status  due to node involvement. I have cried this afternoon I have to admit even though I expected to have follow up treatment. I felt as if this last week since the tumour was removed I no longer had cancer and now with this news of cells present and chemo to follow I still do...

However, I know that this follow up treatment is life saving and that I have been very lucky in catching this and being able to have it removed and that it has not Matastised. So onwards and upwards the battle to continue - phase 2.

Lets clear the muddy footprints it has left behind and ensure my inards are clean and sparkly very soon!

Not long to go...

Yesterday was another step forward to getting well. I met my surgeon and specialist nurse and they were so confident and made it clear just what the procedure would involve. A Right Hemi- colonectomy. Friday 8th July 2011 I go in. Another Friday!

 This will be the third defining Friday in as many weeks...

I am feeling naturally apprehensive and a bit anxious about the physical aspect of the operation. It is a big operation, however mentally I cannot wait to have this tumour removed.

I guess my next blog will be when I'm back home and how it all went. I'm trying to stay calm and thinking of the evening I stood on a beach in Dubai and watched this beautiful Sun set.

Im on an Enhanced Recovery Programme and will do everything to ensure I do!

Wish me luck and say a little prayer if you feel too...

Euphoria for the day! Fri 1st July 2011

 Friday 1st July 2011 was a defining date. A beautiful sunny day with blue sky and a warm breeze. I could not see the sun and I did not feel the warm breeze. The morning was spent in a surreal blurr. We took my beloved Meg for a walk along the river and through fields of sheep to the Church in Publow. We have done this walk many times but on Friday it looked different.

Once back at home all we could do was wait for 2pm and the call from the Specialist Colon Nurse. A watched clock ticks so very slowly. I cannot put into words the intense fear that had gripped us both by now - the darkest hours I have spent to date. Praying the news would be good and dreading that we would hear the worst.

Finally the call and Mia said immediately without hesitation - "It's good news!" Never have those three little words sounded so fantastic! We cried instantly before Mia even had a chance to explain further.

It hadn't spread, they could operate and take the tumour out...

We cried for quite a while and then the rush to tell loved ones the 'good news'!

We were all euphoric that eve but we all knew this was just the first hurdle...my journey was only just beginning. The battle had not even started...

Waiting to hear if my cancer has spread...

Since my initial diagnosis two weeks ago,  I have bowel cancer - a tumour
the size of a small apple, Ive had my CT Scan and tomorrow the Multi Disciplinary team will ring
me to tell me if it has spread and what they can do.
 I feel sick right now at the prospect of knowing...I have never wanted a day to come so quickly and yet dreaded its arrival so much. I have never been so
afraid in all my life of a telephone call...Im trying to stay so positive but am
not doing so well right now. I am scared...
Joanne

The day my world caved in...

Friday June 17th 2011

 A defining date, not etched on my mind but gauged out with the sharpest blade of the most hidieous knife. The day my world, my life changed forever.

This is my journey,  I have no choice now where I go. The only choice I have is how I get there. I will fight the hardest fight of my life so far. I will survive this and be the victor! I will do this for myself, for my son, my partner, my parents, my whole family and extended family, all of my true friends and for everyone who I know in my heart cares enough to want me to fight this battle and win!
How I found out;
The Consultant enters my recovery cubicle, her head tilted a little to the left, her mouth tight with the corners slightly curving upand sad eyes half lowered..."Im afraid I've found your biggest fear in your colon" she says...with that she starts to disappear into a 'tunnel' that I've created in my mind to make her shrink and vanish!

Sat June 25th 2011

It's been one hell of a week! An emotional rollercoaster...Hell...my own personal purgatory. Waiting. Today I had the CT scan. The procedure itself was a simple and painfree experience. The fear comes from what the CT scan will discover...or on the flipside, the positive side, what it will not. Fingers crossed and pray for the latter.
 By now the biopsy to determine which type, should be with the Consultant and his team. The team should  be able to put all the information that they have on this and determine what can be done - my 'plan'. All sorts of thoughts race around my mind at lightening speed, constantly. The thoughts range from one polar extreme to the other . Positive > pure darkness!
All we can do now is wait...how long...

Flamin June...A Day at RSPB Ham Wall

After a dreadful day of misery on Monday, we decided a day out in the sunshine would do me good! The forecast said the sun would shine all day and the temp would be perfect...
A drive down to Glastonbury and on to the Somerset Levels - RSPB Ham Wall.
Expectations were high, would I see the beloved Barn Owl? We walked along the dusty path and the cocophony of bird song was incredible! The Great Tits nesting, Robins, Blackbirds, Warblers all busy about their day with a song. Long tailed tits en masse in the trees beyond, never still enough to see in detail but unmistakable all the same!
Majestic Cormorants sit on platforms in the water, sunning their huge wings outspread like Egyptian statues.
As we continued along the track towards the tea room...I looked out over the field and saw flying low over the fields near the dead gnarley trees an umistakeable site...the cream and chocolate brown wings of the Marsh Harrier! Then not one but two a pair hunting together diving and flying low in unison. I followed them through the binoculars with utter amazement, it has been 20 years since Ive been here and saw them here on the Somerset Levels...

Walking back along the river, Dragonflies and Damselflies glistened and swooped in the afternoon sun! So many dancing along the Rivers edge, stopping on tall grasses occasionally, perfect for me to get a closer look. In our path a Grey Heron, so tall and almost prehistoric looking, as he takes flight you realise just how big these wonderful birds are!

Down at ground level a caterpillar ambles along the dusty track ahead of us. Such a beautiful specimen, as black and twinkly as a starlit sky - The Peacock butterfly caterpillar! A first for me...